The power of acceptance – Dealing with difficult situations

We are continuously being informed that building a business takes time. It requires patience and we mustn’t rush ahead, but what does this actually mean? How doe we become patient if we aren’t yet? And how can we recognise whether or not we are acting impatiently?

I haven’t been too patient myself and I have always rushed ahead. Of anything that I have done, I have always been able to clearly see the desired outcome; the goal I am eagerly seeking to achieve, but have constantly been oblivious to the path that leads toward that image. When I want something, I want it now, and that is how we somewhat have become conditioned in our current society. When we want something, we buy it. Do you feel sick? Take a pill and the symptoms will go away. Want to talk to a friend? Pick up the phone or send a text message.

Everything has become instantly available, and we are slowly forgetting what it means to be patient. But, even in this rapid paced world of today where everything is readily available, there still are things that can’t be obtained immediately. Human relationships and love are things that take time and patience to build, acquiring a skill takes time to learn, and building a business is just as much one of those elements.

The Internet is flooded with guides on creating an online business, or courses and books on starting your own entrepreneurial undertaking. Entrepreneurship has become so prominent a concept in our lives that our younger generation can start a business of their own just as easily as they would take up a new hobby. We don’t want to work for an employer anymore because it limits us in our doing, but we still need the money to sustain our living expenses. Starting a business is in this light a very viable and appealing option.

Nevertheless, what we tend to forget is that it takes time and effort to build a successful business, and it requires the patience and persistence to make such an undertaking profitable. Not understanding this sufficiently means that when things don’t look as good as you had initially anticipated, or sales are insufficient and there is a shortage of cash flow, you may quickly loose faith and confidence, and quit. But, it is in dealing successfully with these down times, that we may find the key to success.

But, how can you stay calm on such an occasion? I believe that since we have become too used to being able to get what we want instantly, that we have lost our patience and willpower. To be patient means to accept the situation and to be satisfied with what we have at that current moment. Willpower drives us to continue striving for our goal no matter what the difficulties we encounter. Acceptance is an important factor here, because it is only in being able to accept the current situation, that it is possible to take steps in the right direction. When things don’t go well, I often use the phrase ‘I accept that things aren’t going as I would want them to. What do I do to make things better?’ Realizing what the situation is you are in, and accepting the fact that it is what it is, provides you with the strongest steppingstone to start moving forward.

But how do you maintain this tranquility of mind when your world appears as if it is about to fall on your head and squash you underneath its weight? I find meditation to be extremely powerful. Meditation is the art of acceptance. As you sit, and focus on your breath, you let your thoughts flow, let everyday activities rest, and take time for relaxation. In this moment, you take your mind off the thoughts that circle you deeper and deeper into the difficulty of the situation, and may even lead to extremely harmful doom thinking. You practically distance yourself from what is troubling you, and in effect get a broader view on the situation, making room in your mind for new ideas or solutions to enter.

As Einstein said it, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Abraham Lincoln adds to this “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” When we find ourselves in a difficult situation, wise people have advised us not to jump onto the problem at once. I meditate to sharpen my mind before attacking the problem, and simultaneously devise a different mindset from which to approach the problem. Meditational practice is a powerful tool to prepare us to stay calm in any situation, but I am not urging you to start practicing the art of zazen, or tea ceremony, or yoga as I do. Similar results can be achieved through going for a swim or a run, or engage in another physical activity, go on a short holiday or short break, read a book, etc. Do something relaxing.

The first step in dealing with a difficult situation is to temporarily let go of it and accept that it exists. As a wise Zen master once said when a pupil entered his quarters with a million questions, “Sit. Let’s have tea in silence first!

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