Category Archives: Thoughts

How I Activated Lazy Me.

We are being told this same thing over and over. The internet is overflowing with blogs and content aiming to convey the exact same message. We have heard the phrase so many times that when it appears, we say “yea yeah, I know this already”. But in reality, we only understand its literal meaning, but not the idea behind it, and the impact that understanding this can have on our lives.

Do, act, get off your ass.

Only by doing something, you will achieve something.
By doing nothing, you will achieve nothing.

I am a lazy person, and rather sit back thinking about what I could do, rather than to actually go out and do it. But being self-employed, this unfortunately won’t get me very far. When I began selling tea, set up a tea ceremony classroom, started teaching and giving lectures about tea among various other freelance activities, I very soon realized that just thinking about what I should to, where to go or who to contact wasn’t going to get me very far, so I started looking for inspiration on how to activate my lazy self.

I found guides on how to improve my productivity, read books on entrepreneurship, sales, management, etc. but in the end, I still found myself doing everything that wasn’t going to lead to the collaborators and students I needed for my activities. I made a beautiful homepage, set myself up on every possible social network, spent a lot of time on selecting the teas for my store, and after a few months, I was still surprised that I hadn’t been selling much tea, nor wasn’t getting a lot of students for my classes. What I was in fact doing was painting the walls of my bedroom in the hope that someone on the outside would notice how beautiful it was.

Something had to be done, and the next step I took was to learn about setting goals. I made to do lists, set short-term goals, long-term goals, and began to take action little by little. The words on paper compelled me to get up and get out to actually do something, but this quickly started to feel as an obligation, rather than as a positive boost. Something was lacking, and it was Simon Sinek who helped me understand the importance of our beliefs. No matter how beautifully composed your to do lists are, or how large you have written your ultimate goals on the wall, if it doesn’t resonate with why you are doing it, you just won’t do it.

Setting goals can be a drive to get moving forward, but if it doesn’t stroke with the reason why we are doing what we are, interest is easily lost. For me, figuring out that the main reason why I do everything regarding tea and Japanese tradition is because it inspires me to live a simple and happy life, while it allows me to share with others what I have learned and feel passionate about, helped me attain a different mindset. Rather than pushing myself to send x emails to x existing and x new contacts, and to update my Facebook status x times a day, and so on and so on, in order to reach a goal of x total students in x years, I now began doing everything I felt was right, when it was right, because it was in line with my core belief. I actually started doing more because it was what I loved doing.

For some setting goals may work, for others clearly defining your beliefs may be more beneficial. Nevertheless, what I have learned is that we shouldn’t spend too much time on pondering on and polishing our goals or beliefs. Set a goal, write down your beliefs the way they appear to you now, and move on. Focusing on getting these things right for too long is impairing. In fact, even without having a goal written on your wall, or without a clear idea of your beliefs, it is far more important to get out and do what you love, rather than to spend hours at a desk trying to figure out why you are doing what you actually aren’t doing at all.

Get up, get out, do something and enjoy it. Make adjustments where necessary and move on. A clear view on the goals you want to achieve, or the core reason why you are doing what you are doing will become clear eventually. If you are doing what you feel is right, and resonates with who you are, then results will show. In the end, if you are doing what you love doing, people will recognize your passion and beliefs. Don’t forget to listen to them; because it is usually those persons that will tell you what you need to know about your own beliefs.

Advertisements

About ‘Buji’

Proverbs that originate in Zen Buddhism play a significant role in the rite of tea as well. Some of these proverbs have been adapted in secular circumstances, and in most cases their meaning has been altered to our immediate contemporary needs.

‘Buji’ [無事] for example is one such proverb. The word is formed of two characters of which the first (‘mu’ [無]) means ‘none’, and the second (‘ji’ or ‘koto’ [事]) means ‘thing’ or ‘matter’. In its secular meaning, the word ‘buji’ is most frequently used to indicate that everything is all right, or that nothing is untoward; ‘Nothing’ is amiss. But the spiritual meaning in relation to its origins in Zen Buddhism requires a bit more consideration to be understood.

The highest achievement for a Zen monk in training is to reach enlightenment. His spiritual journey guides him on the way to achieve this ultimate state. However, enlightenment must not be treated as a goal one has to work towards in order to be obtained. The practice of the monk is in the conduct of everyday affairs, maintaining a steady state of mind. He who pursues enlightenment is unlikely to ever reach it, but he who abandons this perception, and halts his pursuit of the ideal, will eventually obtain full comprehension.

It is this knowledge that is recognized in the above proverb. ‘Buji’ in its purest form means that there is ‘not a thing’ one can do to obtain enlightenment; Comprehension of our being cannot be forced, it will come when it comes.

This belief applies not only to Zen monks, but also to every aspect of our spiritual, private and professional lives. Whatever we pursue or attempt to master demands effort, patience and perseverance. When we take up a new hobby, commence learning a new skill, or even start a new business, we can’t expect to grasp the essence of whatever endeavor we engage with in a matter of mere months, or even years.

Every time we engage in our undertaking, we gain new insights. Every insight adds to our understanding of our pursuit, and eventually will contribute to mastery of the art. But it is only through continuous study and engagement that these insights can be obtained, and regardless of how strongly we wish to achieve something, it is only through ‘doing’, and by taking step by step that someday we will reach that level of full comprehension.

In addition, from my perspective as an adept and instructor in the art of tea, I have come to understand that ‘mastery’ is not something that is obtained after a certain amount of lessons, or a period of years, but that true mastery lies within engagement in the art for as long eternity lasts. Every occasion, every person we interact with is different, and continuously allows us access to new insights. Becoming able to perfectly execute an art is not where our realization of mastery ends, it is where the journey towards true mastery begins.

The power of acceptance – Dealing with difficult situations

We are continuously being informed that building a business takes time. It requires patience and we mustn’t rush ahead, but what does this actually mean? How doe we become patient if we aren’t yet? And how can we recognise whether or not we are acting impatiently?

I haven’t been too patient myself and I have always rushed ahead. Of anything that I have done, I have always been able to clearly see the desired outcome; the goal I am eagerly seeking to achieve, but have constantly been oblivious to the path that leads toward that image. When I want something, I want it now, and that is how we somewhat have become conditioned in our current society. When we want something, we buy it. Do you feel sick? Take a pill and the symptoms will go away. Want to talk to a friend? Pick up the phone or send a text message.

Everything has become instantly available, and we are slowly forgetting what it means to be patient. But, even in this rapid paced world of today where everything is readily available, there still are things that can’t be obtained immediately. Human relationships and love are things that take time and patience to build, acquiring a skill takes time to learn, and building a business is just as much one of those elements.

The Internet is flooded with guides on creating an online business, or courses and books on starting your own entrepreneurial undertaking. Entrepreneurship has become so prominent a concept in our lives that our younger generation can start a business of their own just as easily as they would take up a new hobby. We don’t want to work for an employer anymore because it limits us in our doing, but we still need the money to sustain our living expenses. Starting a business is in this light a very viable and appealing option.

Nevertheless, what we tend to forget is that it takes time and effort to build a successful business, and it requires the patience and persistence to make such an undertaking profitable. Not understanding this sufficiently means that when things don’t look as good as you had initially anticipated, or sales are insufficient and there is a shortage of cash flow, you may quickly loose faith and confidence, and quit. But, it is in dealing successfully with these down times, that we may find the key to success.

But, how can you stay calm on such an occasion? I believe that since we have become too used to being able to get what we want instantly, that we have lost our patience and willpower. To be patient means to accept the situation and to be satisfied with what we have at that current moment. Willpower drives us to continue striving for our goal no matter what the difficulties we encounter. Acceptance is an important factor here, because it is only in being able to accept the current situation, that it is possible to take steps in the right direction. When things don’t go well, I often use the phrase ‘I accept that things aren’t going as I would want them to. What do I do to make things better?’ Realizing what the situation is you are in, and accepting the fact that it is what it is, provides you with the strongest steppingstone to start moving forward.

But how do you maintain this tranquility of mind when your world appears as if it is about to fall on your head and squash you underneath its weight? I find meditation to be extremely powerful. Meditation is the art of acceptance. As you sit, and focus on your breath, you let your thoughts flow, let everyday activities rest, and take time for relaxation. In this moment, you take your mind off the thoughts that circle you deeper and deeper into the difficulty of the situation, and may even lead to extremely harmful doom thinking. You practically distance yourself from what is troubling you, and in effect get a broader view on the situation, making room in your mind for new ideas or solutions to enter.

As Einstein said it, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Abraham Lincoln adds to this “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” When we find ourselves in a difficult situation, wise people have advised us not to jump onto the problem at once. I meditate to sharpen my mind before attacking the problem, and simultaneously devise a different mindset from which to approach the problem. Meditational practice is a powerful tool to prepare us to stay calm in any situation, but I am not urging you to start practicing the art of zazen, or tea ceremony, or yoga as I do. Similar results can be achieved through going for a swim or a run, or engage in another physical activity, go on a short holiday or short break, read a book, etc. Do something relaxing.

The first step in dealing with a difficult situation is to temporarily let go of it and accept that it exists. As a wise Zen master once said when a pupil entered his quarters with a million questions, “Sit. Let’s have tea in silence first!

Meditation in Hospitality; Hospitality in Meditation

What is the rite of tea? Some refer to it as a meditational practice, others point to the considerate alertness it nurtures within the practitioner to the needs, comfort and delight of others; in short, the hospitable face of this praxis. Although these two sides are seemingly opposite to one another, it is my belief that the true value of what we can learn from the praxis of tea is hidden in the paradoxical combination of simultaneously the meditational aspect, which works on the individual, and the hospitable side, which nurtures mutual respect and consideration for others.

Both items indeed seem to work against each other. When we are in meditation, then how can we be considerate of others? And when we are working to serve others, how can we also be in meditation? I believe that it is exactly this paradoxical combination – of unbroken meditation with considerate alertness to the needs, comfort and delight of others – that characterizes this rite as something of which I feel contemporary society is in sore need.

The point in the seeming impossibility of combining meditation, and consideration for others in one and the same praxis, lies in how we perceive meditation. Meditation is most commonly seen from a Zen perspective, in which an adept sits cross-legged for an extended period of time. We see this exercise as a means to ‘distance‘ ourselves from what is current, but in fact it is quite the opposite. Through meditation, the learner practices ‘being present’ in his current environment. The exercise gives means to train his/her mind to become free from conceptions, and to focus on exactly what is actual in our direct environment, seeing it for what it in essence is without distinguishing between right and wrong.

Meditation is an activity that trains us to nurture inner peace and to accept. And I have consciously chosen to call it an ‘activity’ for two reasons. 1) Obtaining peace requires an effort. 2) Meditation is not limited to only sitting quietly. The practice of sitting was originally selected from a wide range of Yoga exercises by Zen monks, from the belief that it was the most effective practice to nurture inner peace and train in the objective observation of our surroundings. But this practice can in fact come in various forms, ranging from being focused and present in the most difficult of Yoga poses, to sneaking out of the office for a 30-minute swim during lunchtime.

The rite of tea is meditation in practice. It is only through the exercise in hospitality that this rite becomes meditational, and it is meditational because the activity and environment demands the practitioner’s full attention and focus. Through meditation, an adept trains in 1) introspection to understand and accept his/her true nature, and 2) selflessness to take peace with who he/she in essence is to enable oneself to fully commit to love and give to others. It is this component of meditation that is essential to the rite of tea, for without the ability to unconditionally love and give to others, a service of tea cannot come about.

rikyu-plum-design

Thoughts on taking pictures

Photography allows us to do a whole lot more than what we were able to before its invention. Taking pictures allows us to recount moments in the past of which we would otherwise only have a faint memory. Taking pictures of children when they grow up for instance helps us to at a later stage in their lives remember how they looked, and what they were like. It also enables us to show other people an image of what we have seen or done. One example of this is our travel photography, which we use as an illustrative tool when we tell our stories to those that stayed home.

But sometimes we take so many pictures, or become so preoccupied with making photographs that we forget to also register our impressions and emotions at a given site or occasion. When I return home to Belgium, I very often hear people make reference to the stereotype of the Asian tourist who has visited every European capital in just one week. This stereotype traveler is usually so busy with taking pictures that he/she has merely seen these cities through the eye of their camera lens, and that memories of this visit are likely to be only made upon return to their home country during a review of the photos collected.

I believe that taking pictures is a nice to have, but should not go at the cost of first having had a genuine experience of what is going to be registered for later use. At our tea ceremony workshops we have at almost every occasion received the question whether or not our visitors are allowed to take pictures. And while I believe that taking a photograph or two may be useful to later on recount the experience, we have been kindly requesting our visitors to take pictures with their ‘camera of the heart’.

Gradually we have changed our policy however and now more often do allow guests to take a few pictures in the course of a service, and afterward. And, interestingly enough, the majority of participants did take a few shots, but eventually forgot to take pictures of the parts they actually were looking forward to capture, as they naturally became engaged in our activities.

Now, we give the opportunity to take pictures, but at certain times request to place cameras aside and focus on what is going on. Especially during the progression of a service of tea, it is more important to become part of the service and to actually feel and experience what the atmosphere of such an occasion is like. You can find several demonstrations of traditional Tea services on Youtube — we have even uploaded our own. But, you will never be able to gain the same understanding by just watching it, as opposed to actually having been part of one such moment.

That is why we feel that rather than taking images of every motion we make, it is more important to register the atmosphere, the sounds, and the feelings you have during such a service. Two or three pictures may help you recall these emotions, but they will never be a genuine replacement for this once-in-a-lifetime-only experience.

I don’t think that this is only the case with similar experiences, but also with taking pictures of children or sites you visit during travel. An image can only be an aid in recounting an experience if you have actually had that experience. This is why we encourage our guests to occupy themselves with engaging in our activity, and only make pictures occasionally.

tea-bowl-koetsu-honami

About Nostalgia

The future is what lies ahead of us. It is the only direction we can go. But what the future will become is not set in stone. It is what we do today that will affect the course we take in shaping the day of tomorrow. The past is what is done, and cannot be changed. But that does not mean that it isn’t valuable. The past is a resource we can rely upon for insight and information that will help us to create a brighter future.

If we look to the past, it allows us to discover what we like and what we don’t like. It gives opportunity to assess what we want for our own lives and what we prefer to avoid. In addition, history can tell us which actions lead to certain results, and in effect teach us which exercises we should eschew and which we must nurture to reach our desired destiny.

It is my feeling that our world today is not headed in a positive direction. Too much precedence is given to materialism and other things of a human nature, while we are forgetting about the natural environment that encapsulates us. We work hard for the accumulation of money and the ability to buy luxury items that temporarily soothe our personal needs, but in no way enhance our human existence. We pursue beauty to the extent that we change our appearance to become someone that other people will like, while we try to cover up who we in essence are. We not only try to control nature, we even attempt to change it.

Society has imposed values on us that stand in contradiction with our human nature, and instead of helping us for the better; it has created opportunity for new illnesses of a mental origin, with related side effects such as suicide and aversion to increase. We are made to believe in one approach, while we realize deep inside that this doesn’t stroke with our actual human convictions. This internal conflict is what makes us suffer, and what for some of us may prove to be ultimately fatal.

I look to the past, because to me it looks brighter than the future. I look to the past because I feel that as a human race we are headed in the wrong direction. I look to the past to learn from it what we can use to change course towards a brighter prospective.

To me, learning the rite of tea is an opportunity to re-learn our fundamental human values. It doesn’t only show us the fundamental beauty of things, regardless of whether items are seemingly perfect or imperfect, it also teaches us the way to appreciate and to be respectful of someone’s intentions, the course of an event, and what we have been presented with, before we make judgments about whether or not we like or dislike it.

We learn to take things as they come and to be grateful for exactly just that. We learn to respect people for who they are and not to be judgmental about their personality. And today, it are exactly those aspects of life that we struggle with most to maintain. In learning the art of tea, I wish to better understand the core of our human existence, and to become a better person myself. In the course of doing so, if my actions or beliefs may result to even inspire one person to do the same, I may never be able to fully repay my gratitude.

tea-ceremony-sweet

Once-and-once-only – My thoughts on ‘Ichi-go Ichi-e’.

Are you still the person you were ten seconds ago? And will you in ten seconds from now still be the person you are now?

The world is in constant flux. Things continue to develop and our environment keeps changing. We keep changing. In the past ten second you have read up to this point, and you may have wondered about the above two questions. You may have formed responses, or you may have realized something. Maybe you are just wondering what I am talking about. You are still wearing the same clothes. Your face looks the same. Your location maybe hasn’t changed. Everything is seemingly the same, but actually a lot has already changed. I could put up a list of external factors that have transformed while you are reading this, and that may affect your life somewhere in the near future. But I would like to turn my attention to what is happening internally.

You haven’t even spent one minute with me, but you already are a different person. My words have made you think, they may have raised questions, or triggered a certain feeling. At the very least, you will have read something you hadn’t before we met. These minor external impulses affect how we change internally, and each and every moment, every minute, second, or even millisecond, we will have changed.

You will be reading this text with a certain feeling, but you will never be able to experience that exact same feeling again. You have gained knowledge, you have had an experience that changed you and that will have changed how you read this text the next time.

In life, we can only have every encounter only once, for having it a second time will inevitably be different. Even if the environment is exactly the same, the people are absolutely alike, and the objects and topics are strictly duplicate, the time will be different, and we will have changed. In the tea environment, great precedence is given to this concept and understanding. Having the same occasion twice is sadly impossible, because the feelings of surprise or joy that you may have experienced during a certain conversations, or by encountering specific utensils, will never return.

This is what in the rite of tea is called ‘Ichi-go Ichi-e’ [once-and-once-only, 一期一会], or ‘every instant is a different encounter’. It however isn’t, or mustn’t be our goal to exactly recreate certain experiences. What is of importance is to understand that we can never feel the same about something, and that all emotions can only be had once. Therefore, and that is what the proverb actually alludes to, it is of utmost importance that we are present in each moment of our lives, and can be grateful for what we have received, because it is an experience that will never return.